internets, it's true. we took advantage of them.

Here is my advice: if your is closing its doors, don't invite Joe, Brad and me. Chances are we'll perform some illegal and/or shady maneuver.

Here is my request: don't turn us in to the authorities.

I didn't even remember this first anecdote until last night. We were headed to a local Mexican place which was closing down after over 30 years of business. We were discussing what the restaurant would be like on its last night when Joe said "Knowing us, we'll walk out on the bill."

And that's when it came back to me. We neglected to pay our last tab at the infamous Wonder Bar. The place was mostly empty and only one bartender was working that night-- the random guy who always provided the worst service of all the waitstaff at WB. I think we only had one drink each that night. We discussed it for 10-15 minutes before ducking out when the bartender was at the other end of the bar. Please don't turn us in, we practically kept that place in business!!

I actually feel more guilty about what happened last night-- and I wasn't even party to it. When we arrived, the place was packed. I dropped off the guys to get our names on the list while I parked the car. When I got in, there were maybe 20 people waiting (mostly in parties of 3 or 4) and the guys were no where to be found. I called Joe. "We're in the back, at the table." Uh, ok.

I sat down at what was clearly a 2-top set for three and asked how they got seated so quickly.

When they walked in, Brad explained, the hostess was calling for "Joe, party of two." Joe (who claimed to be unaware of the fact that Brad had not yet put in our name) said, quite truthfully, "I'm Joe. Except, we have three. Right? Three?" He looked at Brad.

"Yep."

The hostess said it was fine, they could easily remedy that. Thus, we stole the table from poor Joe and his or her husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/friend/companion/etc.

And the queso tasted that much cheesier.