my mom got me drunk.

Well, not quite but I did get really drunk at her house. By accident.

Thank goodness Joe was there to drive me home. I don't know how it happened. I stood up and suddenly I was wasted. Just blasted. I blame the wine.

Some bits:

HotCop: "I'm mad you didn't bring any food home."
Me: "I was too drunk to pack up food!"

Which was true, I had to get out the door before any of my parents' friends (and church members) realized I could barely walk across the room.

Mom: "I didn't keep an eye on her! I thought people her age could monitor themselves!"

She said this to HotCop at church on Sunday, because I was far too hungover to make it out of bed. Too hungover, even, to walk upstairs and ask my roommate if she would teach Sunday School for me. I called her cell phone from the house phone.

HotCop gave me a breathalyzer. I blew a 0.178, more than twice the legal limit here in the Commonwealth. Whew. HotCop loooves to give her drunk friends breathalyzers, it's like a game for her. She and her friend Wiz (who pulled me over once, but that is another story) experimented to see how alcohol affects men and women differently. Drink a beer, take the test. I want her to marry Wiz, but it's too late, he's already married. :-(

I told my mom about the breathalyzer. She speculated that maybe next year they should just have one on hand to test people as they leave.

Mom: "There was a lot of alcohol consumed. I kept making trips to the recycling bin and thinking 'What must the recycling people think?'"

Anyway, I started feeling reasonably well enough to go pick up my car about 7:30 last night. Made it over to Mom & Dad's house fine. Then I yakked up all the rice HotCop had made me. I broke down on the way home and got my cure. McDonald's #2, no onions with a Coke.

Except it's no longer #2. I had to ask the drive-thru lady if they still have the 2-cheeseburger meal. They did, whew. Cured. Well, mostly.

Tonight, I'm due to have drinks with Sara (of the literal broken neck). I think I'll have water.