my mom got me drunk.

Well, not quite but I did get really drunk at her house. By accident.

Thank goodness Joe was there to drive me home. I don't know how it happened. I stood up and suddenly I was wasted. Just blasted. I blame the wine.

Some bits:

HotCop: "I'm mad you didn't bring any food home."
Me: "I was too drunk to pack up food!"

Which was true, I had to get out the door before any of my parents' friends (and church members) realized I could barely walk across the room.

Mom: "I didn't keep an eye on her! I thought people her age could monitor themselves!"

She said this to HotCop at church on Sunday, because I was far too hungover to make it out of bed. Too hungover, even, to walk upstairs and ask my roommate if she would teach Sunday School for me. I called her cell phone from the house phone.

HotCop gave me a breathalyzer. I blew a 0.178, more than twice the legal limit here in the Commonwealth. Whew. HotCop loooves to give her drunk friends breathalyzers, it's like a game for her. She and her friend Wiz (who pulled me over once, but that is another story) experimented to see how alcohol affects men and women differently. Drink a beer, take the test. I want her to marry Wiz, but it's too late, he's already married. :-(

I told my mom about the breathalyzer. She speculated that maybe next year they should just have one on hand to test people as they leave.

Mom: "There was a lot of alcohol consumed. I kept making trips to the recycling bin and thinking 'What must the recycling people think?'"

Anyway, I started feeling reasonably well enough to go pick up my car about 7:30 last night. Made it over to Mom & Dad's house fine. Then I yakked up all the rice HotCop had made me. I broke down on the way home and got my cure. McDonald's #2, no onions with a Coke.

Except it's no longer #2. I had to ask the drive-thru lady if they still have the 2-cheeseburger meal. They did, whew. Cured. Well, mostly.

Tonight, I'm due to have drinks with Sara (of the literal broken neck). I think I'll have water.

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  • At 11:09 AM, Anonymous Cristina said…

    Nobody needs to know about your vomit. Gross.

  • At 1:51 PM, Blogger kitkat said…

    Rice vomit does sound pretty heinous. Say, doesn't it seem slightly ironic or just funny that you were so hungover you couldn't teach youngins about God that day?


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