better than getting laid off.

Today (Friday, May 26th) marked my last day at the place I work (now AND formerly known as the place I used to work).

In all honesty, it's been a depressing time. When I first (re) took a job here, I was sure it wouldn't last more than a couple of months. Then no one hired me. Then it got to be the new year, and my resolution was to get a new job. But no one hired me. I got tired of looking for jobs-- this was something like my 5th job search in three years. I hate cover letters, my resume and searching for jobs. More than anything, I hate interviewing. I have no idea how many jobs for which I've interviewed since June 2005. I still have all my rejection letters, though, filed away so I don't forget how hard it was for me to get a job.

Dear Erika/Candidate/Unemployed Slop,

Thank you for submitting your resume to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society/Ferguson/Trader Publishing/The Colonial Williamsburg Foundation/Old Dominion University/Christopher Newport University/Your Mom's House.

However, you suck. No job for you!


The Hiring Managers
Place that Doesn't Think You Deserve an Interview

I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir about job searches here, as many of you have experienced the same. You know how we do.

However-- enough about you, more about me. It hasn't all been bad, this working You Know Where. There have been glimpses of the Old Times. The guys I worked with still made fun of me. You-Know-Who is still bi-polar. Does She Like Me or Is She Just Faking It? I choose (b). But there were the downtown hotspots to visit- D'Egg and Guadalajara in particular. Tasty. Can't go wrong with meatloaf Wednesdays.

Am I sad to leave? On Monday I told CK "NO WAY NOPE NOT AT ALL!" How can I help but feel a little nostaglic for the place I met most of yous guys? Especially one in particular.

I've had some crazy times with people I met here. Crazy fun and crazy insanity. They make up for the sucky times-- the times my heart would sink when my alarm went off in the morning. The second time I came here to talk about a job, I cried on my way back to the car, and got straight back into bed once I made it home. Regression was all I could think about. I'm going back in my life. But there was That Voice in the back of my mind asking, "What choice do you have?" I knew the freelancing thing with Breadhouse would only last so long and the Virginia Employment Commission wasn't keeping me in imported pecorino cheese and Cinnamon Toast Crunch-- let alone shoes and purses. More like Ramen Noodles and government cheese.

Don't get me wrong-- I'm truly grateful for the opportunities I've had here. Thank goodness Tim hired the former travel agent/current waitress and not the cheerleader. Thank goodness HotCop actually gave me the message when Tim called-- because she almost didn't. I ALMOST ESCAPED. We were having phone trouble at the time and she had a hard time hearing what he said. When I returned his call to schedule my interview, I didn't even know his name. In fact, I don't think I knew his name when I came to my interview. When Front Desk Leslie said "Oh, you're here to see Tim." I replied, "Yes" and thought, "Uhhh...hope so."

Nostalgic? Just for today. Sad? That's too much.

And, no, I'm not going to give you the inside scoop.


texting with mom

Fr: Mom

Good morning we have yr travel coffee mug

To: Mom

Oh! Thanks! I have your Atlantic mag!

Fr: Mom

Hows yr last day going now i need to lrn punct lv ma


Mom doesn't know the gloried of the T9.

All I know is that if we go over the allocated text messages on our Family Plan this month it will NO LONGER BE MY FAULT!

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My mother has taught herself how to text message.

Brace yourselves for the deluge...




fun with texting.

Fr: Taneka
i still can't believe your roommate and poltergeist broke up.Who will we tease now? Joe? His name is so...normal.No fun(no offense)
May 11, 12:55pm

I thought she and prairie dog would be together forever.
Sent: May 11, 2:10pm

Too bad. Im sure she and popgoestheweasel are better off
May 11, 2:18pm

Yes but mr and mrs peepeeinthepotty sounds so good
Sent: May 11, 3:43pm

Ur funny
May 11, 4:05pm

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beer fest, redux

As I stated before my BeerFest '06 story is much shorter and soberer than my WineFest '05 story. That is to say: I did not buy five kegs, nor did I drink them.

It was great to spend time with Brian and My Lovely Tiffany again. Finally. When it's difficult to get any of us out of the house, it's difficult to get a chance to hang out.

Anyway, Brian, as it turns out, is heading to Guam on Monday. Although he is excited, this is how he feels to be leaving My Lovely Tiffany for three long weeks. Although, we may end up with more photos like this as a result. That is to say, MLT and I may actually be in the same city at the same time. Ahem. We found out someone from Guam beat him to the traveling, however.

Here you will see that Joe and I were there and that it was sunny. You can see the results of the sun on my shoulders now. Crispy. Here you will see that Brian is interested in something other than beer.

UNRELATED TO BEERFEST: My sister and Jeff Corwin.

That is all.


a different kind of drunk.

While I'm not as drunk as I was at the infamous Wine Fest, I'm certainly Not Sober(tm).

No "Before and After" this time-- sorry to all you who had faith in me to provide yet another unattractive photo of myself. Fear not-- soon I'll have something from moving day! Which will be counteracted with photos from Alden's wedding. It's all about balance, people.



say up jumped the boogie...

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Sand Chameleon

Your Superpower is Rapping

Your Weakness is Rain

Your Weapon is Your Laser Shotgun

Your Mode of Transportation is Convertible

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are you kidding me?

Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America



Tom Shales says:
Not overlooking practical aspects, The Washington Post says the [White House] report not only "assumes" as many as 2 million dead in the United States alone, but also a 40 percent rate of "workforce absenteeism." Good heavens! Maybe preparedness demands that we all start staying home, oh, let's say, this morning. Just to be on the safe side.

"Fatal Contact" argues persuasively that mass suffering, death and, of course, workforce absenteeism are anything but unimaginable; after all, the producers imagined them and put them on film. ABC then irresponsibly slotted the frightening movie at 8, early enough to scare the kiddies right out of their wits.

Just in case our country didn't have enough of a climate of paranoia. Jeez.

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In line at Walgreens:

Cashier: (rings up pregnancy test) Oh! Congratulations!
Lady in front of me: Well, maybe.
Cashier: You know, sometimes, I say that to people and they don't want congratulations.
Lady: Well, it's their own fault.

This pisses me off on a couple levels:
1. It's none of the cashiers fucking business why that lady is buying a pregnancy test. Does she congratulate people who buy Nicorette? Or tampons? Congratulations, you're not pregnant. Excedrin? Congratulations, you have a headache. Friendly, impersonal service is good enough for me.
2. Sometimes birth control fails. That's the bottom line.

The only person who can tell kids not to have sex before marriage... is the person who didn't have sex before they got married. Otherwise you're a hypocrite. Sure, tell your kid it's in their best interest not to do it. Having sex, smoking, drinking underage. How well do most kids listen to their parents about any of that? How well did YOU listen to your parents?

Sorry, parents...



with all the twang of a fresh bottle of lemon floor cleaner

Looks refreshing, doesn't it? HA! Don't be fooled by Perrier Lemon! All the great taste of lemon-scented Pine-Sol with none of the grease-cutting convenience!

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alive but exhausted.

after maybe the busiest weekend ever. A retirement, a wedding, a moving day.