Dear Blog Readers,*

(I guess I could say "Dear Joe & Brad, since they are the only ones I know read my blog.)

Hi! What's new & exciting? Things have been busy around here. Beatrice is fine, thanks for asking.

Joe and I have had a hard time staying in the same state since we got married. We have visited these states in the past (almost) three months: Virginia, North Carolina, California, Iowa, Maryland, Virginia (again), Nevada. With the exception of the trip to VA for the wedding, none of these travels have been together. Still on the agenda: Illinois, Iowa and Pennsylvania. Two out of three together. Tra-la!

Additionally, I quit my job. No, I do not have a full time job in CO yet. I'm temping, which is actually quite nice so far. There are several advantages to this:

• I do not work for my old company anymore.*
  
• I don't feel trapped in the house.
  
• I don't wake up at 5 am with the urgency to GET STUFF DONE and think "MIGHT AS WELL WORK."
  
• I don't have the urge to throw up anymore.
  
• I am FREEEEE, tra-la!
  

Seriously, I'm much happier now. I didn't realize how much happier I was until Joe and I were taking a walk last night. You seem happier, he said. I am. I really, really am. Don't ask me where my next effing paycheck is coming from, tho. (It may be from the lady at the temp agency who said "Oh, I see you used to work at D-Company. My husband used to own a game store." I guess her husband liked STCCG and their son played YJ. Small world! She said the name of the store and I recognized it. Turns out I recognized it because there is one by the same name in Australia, I think.)

Joe benefits, too, not only from a happier me but from tasty, gourmet dinners! Yesterday I made a penne w/ pesto, chicken and toasted pinenuts and today I made roulade of chicken, ham, sage and sundried tomatoes with a sage-garlic-lemon pan sauce. TRA-LA! There was also rice. I burned the crap out of my hand, though, when I grabbed the handle of the pan that had been in the oven. (Go ahead, grab the handle of one of your pans. See how many fingers it impacts?) Also in our kitchen now: homemade pound cake and leftover tortilla soup.

Other than that... business as usual.

*Also known as the post wherein I liberally use the phrase "tra-la."
**I could tell you tales about the massive changes that took place since I moved last year. Not here.

at the top of my to do list: don't have a nervous breakdown.

Four million other things follow it.

Don't worry, I'll still have time to play Scrabulous. Priorities, people.

cranky.

Thinking about all I have to do between now and next Saturday (when we leave for Virginia) makes my head hurt.

I'm cranky.

one of those jobs where you travel around and try different foods.

You know, like what Anthony Bourdain does. I want me one of them.

Except, on my show no one will be able to hear me chew. I hate how on Bizarre Foods you can hear Andrew Zimern chew. I guess some people think it's more "immersive" but I just think it's gross.

friday. relief.

I know you don't smoke weed... I know this. But I'm gonna get you hiiigh today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do ...

This post has nothing to do with Mary Jane, and everything to do with my utter relief today is Friday. And also that I need to queue up the movie Friday, for two reasons (1) I'm quite confident that Joe hasn't seen it, and I can't marry him until he does and (2) I haven't watched it in maybe 5 years.

nope. still can't do it.

In organizing stuff today, I came across my long green apron (similar to the one pictured) and the credit card book I used to keep myself organized when I worked full-time as a waitress. I unfolded it, pulled the book out, noted that there was still a receipt from my last shift, harvested the pens, paused for a moment and then rolled the entire package back up again and put it back where I found it, piled on top of my white collared shirts.

If you think gamers are picky, try restaurant patrons. Restaurant atmosphere is unparalleled. I always tried to make light of things. I can always tell when Erika's in my kitchen, the head chef/owner once said. The atmosphere is different. If you flirt with the sauté or salad/dessert guy, your order always comes out first. If you sell the cannolli he accidentally made before he has to throw it away, your order comes out first and with extra touches. There's a reason I never dated a restaurant person and as recently as four months ago said to a co-worker, "Oh, you know how those restaurant people are. Always with the drama." The restaurant person is now out of co-worker's life after lots of drama.

I wore that apron after I decided to quit my soul-sucking job at AAA to better concentrate on looking for employment. I learned how to open a bottle of wine while standing up, how to make the eye contact count, and how to tell who cared what my name was, what the specials were, or who just wanted me to take their order and go away. I wore it for a few more shifts after I started working at Decipher. Sure, I'll take a shift. I just bought a new car, and could use the cash.

The book always kept me organized. For tables of 4 or more, it was where I wrote down the orders. I stashed my cash in there along with credit card receipts, extra paper, and notes about that night's specials. Some girls had pictures in their books--boyfriends, babies, whatever. I never took it that far. Work stuff only.

I haven't used either the apron or the book in several years and am fairly confident that, even if in the future my current employer and I decide to part ways, I would be able find another salaried job. I don't know why I kept the blasted thing. It's faded from the wash-- at least every second shift that thing went into the laundry. There is no way to describe the way a restaurant kitchen smells, or the way you smell after a shift of running in or out of said kitchen.

crappy week.

This last week was a pretty crappy one. The good thing about crappy weeks is that they really set low expectations for the next week-- and from low expectations, lowly goals are born.

Here are mine:

Try not to hate the customers as much as I did last week.
Try not to back into the neighbor's car.
Try not to yell at anyone.
Try not to listen when yelled at.

Here's hoping...

train in va

One of my new employer's clients is a concert pavilion here in SoVa. For the company picnic on Friday, we all got tickets to see Train. We were also VIP, and I snuck in a camera.

Here is my picture of the band. We spent most of our time in the VIP tent with the drinks but felt we needed to make a token visit to our Gold Circle seats. Life as a VIP, so hard.

During said visit, I took this photo of my coworker and her fiancé. In return, she took this one of Joe and me.

Also, my former colleague now my new colleague was very sad his wife wasn't there. I assured him the rest of us were as well.

better than getting laid off.

Today (Friday, May 26th) marked my last day at the place I work (now AND formerly known as the place I used to work).

In all honesty, it's been a depressing time. When I first (re) took a job here, I was sure it wouldn't last more than a couple of months. Then no one hired me. Then it got to be the new year, and my resolution was to get a new job. But no one hired me. I got tired of looking for jobs-- this was something like my 5th job search in three years. I hate cover letters, my resume and searching for jobs. More than anything, I hate interviewing. I have no idea how many jobs for which I've interviewed since June 2005. I still have all my rejection letters, though, filed away so I don't forget how hard it was for me to get a job.

Dear Erika/Candidate/Unemployed Slop,

Thank you for submitting your resume to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society/Ferguson/Trader Publishing/The Colonial Williamsburg Foundation/Old Dominion University/Christopher Newport University/Your Mom's House.

However, you suck. No job for you!

Love,

The Hiring Managers
Place that Doesn't Think You Deserve an Interview

I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir about job searches here, as many of you have experienced the same. You know how we do.

However-- enough about you, more about me. It hasn't all been bad, this working You Know Where. There have been glimpses of the Old Times. The guys I worked with still made fun of me. You-Know-Who is still bi-polar. Does She Like Me or Is She Just Faking It? I choose (b). But there were the downtown hotspots to visit- D'Egg and Guadalajara in particular. Tasty. Can't go wrong with meatloaf Wednesdays.

Am I sad to leave? On Monday I told CK "NO WAY NOPE NOT AT ALL!" How can I help but feel a little nostaglic for the place I met most of yous guys? Especially one in particular.

I've had some crazy times with people I met here. Crazy fun and crazy insanity. They make up for the sucky times-- the times my heart would sink when my alarm went off in the morning. The second time I came here to talk about a job, I cried on my way back to the car, and got straight back into bed once I made it home. Regression was all I could think about. I'm going back in my life. But there was That Voice in the back of my mind asking, "What choice do you have?" I knew the freelancing thing with Breadhouse would only last so long and the Virginia Employment Commission wasn't keeping me in imported pecorino cheese and Cinnamon Toast Crunch-- let alone shoes and purses. More like Ramen Noodles and government cheese.

Don't get me wrong-- I'm truly grateful for the opportunities I've had here. Thank goodness Tim hired the former travel agent/current waitress and not the cheerleader. Thank goodness HotCop actually gave me the message when Tim called-- because she almost didn't. I ALMOST ESCAPED. We were having phone trouble at the time and she had a hard time hearing what he said. When I returned his call to schedule my interview, I didn't even know his name. In fact, I don't think I knew his name when I came to my interview. When Front Desk Leslie said "Oh, you're here to see Tim." I replied, "Yes" and thought, "Uhhh...hope so."

Nostalgic? Just for today. Sad? That's too much.

And, no, I'm not going to give you the inside scoop.

during my unemployment...

When I first got laid off, I made a vow to read lots of books and watch lots of movies.

Books I've Read (* denotes "crap"):

• Armstrong, Lance with Sally Jenkins; It's Not About the Bike
  
• Keyes, Marian; Last Chance Saloon*
  
• Rowling, J.K.; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  
• Rowling, J.K.; Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
  
• Smith, Alexander McCall; The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency
  
• Smith, Alexader McCall; Tears of the Giraffe (More from the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency)
  

Netflix I've Watched (* denotes "encore presentations"):

• American Splendor
  
• Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
  
• Closer*
  
• Felicity, Junior Year (Discs 1-5)*
  
• Guess Who?
  
• The Last Kiss (L'Ultimo Baccio)
  
• Like Water for Chocolate
  
• A Love Song for Bobby Long
  
• The L Word (Discs 1-5)
  
• Million Dollar Baby
  
• Searching for Bobby Fischer
  
• Sneakers
  
• The Spongebob Squarepants Movie
  
• Unfaithful*
  
• The Upside of Anger
  
• You Can Count On Me
  

Other Movies:

• Bewitched
  
• March of the Penguins
  
• Mad Hot Ballroom
  
• Mr. & Mrs. Smith
  

Plus innumerable hours of The Food Network. The list is surprisinglu short, I think.

bitter-- but only for a second.

re·gress
v. re·gressed, re·gress·ing, re·gress·es
v. intr.

• To go back; move backward.
  
• To return to a previous, usually worse or less developed state.
  
• To have a tendency to approach or go back to a statistical mean.

who is this guy?

Same asshole, different day.

Dude: Erika, has [Random Phone Repair Guy] been here?
Me: Uhh...
Dude: Oh, you don't know who [Random Phone Repair Guy] is? [He looks down and sees my 7-11 coffee] Oh, that is so yuppie! Starbucks coffee...
Me: It's 7-11 coffee.
Dude: Close enough. It's what all the kids are drinking these days.

I thought people like this only existed in movies. Condescending, sexist, stereotyping jackasses who are confident they know you based on extremely limited interaction.

Oh wait-- now I remember some of the customers at my old job.

temp job.

(not with breadhouse... )

random conversation with IT Manager:

Dude: What did you go to school for?
Me: Art History.
Dude: Ohhh, liberal arts. Kind of girlie. When I was in school it was like "Oh, liberal arts? Do I look like a girlie?"

Then, later in the same conversation...

Dude: Yeah, my sister used to model wedding dresses. She was pretty cute, for a girl.

Weddings are for women. When was the last time you heard a bunch of men standing around talking about wedding dresses and planning a wedding?

Men don't talk about our feelings and we don't cry.

Me: Oh, is that how that works?

Dude (backpedaling): Oh, uh, I don't know if that's so much how that works as what society teaches us.

Me (internally): Yeah, ok, jackass. I don't want to talk to you anymore. Stop ear fucking me and go get some goddamn lunch. I've got phones to answer. And, btw, have you EVER had a conversation with a female co-worker?

still here.

Not really a whole lot going on... but I'm busy.

Trying not to drive anywhere.

More time with the Auxiliary Squad.

A whole lotta talking about employment, but not so much procuring it.

Sisters home this holiday weekend-- time for the beach!

call for reinforcements!

Today I officially became a member of Breadhouse's auxiliary squad. Or, as I told Shocho, the "People Who Don't Work Here Team."

It makes me a little sane again to go into an office and to see desks and pens and Macs! An artist-grade Mac, no less, with one of those gi-normous screens. AND a chance to work on a zippy new G5 for a couple hours. Pretty.

Then, as icing on the cake, I got to see how he runs a department with TWO STAFF DESIGNERS. Good lordy. Bottom line. Thin slicer. And there was a group lunch.

Thank goodness. Just when I thought I'd forgotten how to do work.

didja notice anything different??

my brand-new title bar comes to you courtesy of the askew aw-zee.

want him to make you one? too late, he's got a job now. buy him a beer.

oh. i had forgotten.

i guess i forgot about the "we reject you" letters which were common in all my previous job searches. now i remember.

i wanted to write back and say i didn't want your stupid job anyway, dumbass! cause i didn't. but it still sucked to read they didn't even want to meet me to be sure. thanks, but no thanks.

this morning i woke up and did not go to work.

it's the first time, but won't be the last.

when the new boss (formerly the old boss) walked in with the envelopes i said motherfucker. he said yep. he was far more shaken than i was.

and then i began my new occupation as beach bum. the most awkward part of that day? the people who laid me off showing up at the bar. no, not t.n.b.(f.t.o.b.), not the former co-workers, not the HR lovely.

does she really like me or is she just faking it? why bother anymore? oh, right. it must be the deep and genuine care for others. that must be it. i forgot.

during My Unfortunate Unemployment i thought i might:

• read a ridiculous number of books.
  
• work on my suntan.
  
• watch a netflix dvd a day.
  
• clean the house.
  
• take at least one nap a day.
  
• watch the ellen degeneres show.
  
• re-watch the entire first season of the oc. i need to know what grade they're in.
  
• find a new, fabulous job.
  

i am spoiled. my parents spoiled (read: still spoil) me, my friends spoil me, and i spoil myself. when i got this job, i bought myself a (read: two) designer purse. and some editor pants. any suggestions for when i get my new, fabulous job?

this was me yesterday.

please note: yesterday was NOT twin day.
this is me today. somebody cut breadhouse OFF of the MOblogging.

june 14, 2005

happy birthday, ck!

happy flag day, americans!

today is my one year anniversary at The Company. who knew?

a year of crazy gamers, days in the tank, laughing til my sides hurt, pissing people off, being pissed off and just plain old chaos.

a year of hollywood, kosmo, breadhouse, two scoop (cheese), eagle eye, one time and air force.

a year of chili's, let's go get a drink, meatloaf, moe's for lunch, noodles and soup. oh and the chips. so.many.chips.

still better than making triptiks?