1993

I'm takin' it back to the old school, cause I'm a old fool who's so cool.

Yes, 1993, it was a good year. As I learned on Bob this morning, 1993 is the year that brought us both Whoop There It Is and Let's Talk about Sex (Yo Pep! I don't think they gonna play this on the radio.) Yes, I was listening to something other than NPR. This is mostly due to the fact I was running a tish late for work and WHRV has the BBC World News beginning at 9 every weekday morning. I don't care for BBC World News, thanks. It pales in comparison to Morning Edition.

I was in middle school (not junior high) in 1993, at the height of my awkward phase (which lasted oh, til I graduated from high school. Gah!). Does anyone else remember the "Whoop There It Is" t-shirts? IIRC, most of them were white with blue letters. Maybe that was just the ones the 7th graders had. Ah, Tag Team. Anyhow.

So, Salt-n-Pepa. HotCop and I both still know all the words to Shoop. Surely you do, too. You know-- yum, yum chocolate chip honey dip can I getta scoop? Baby take a ride in my coupe, even?? I wasn't QUITE as familiar with the lyrics to Let's Talk About Sex but I do remember feeling very embarrassed when they played it on the radio, and I was in the car with one or both of my parents.

Was middle school awful only for me? I had an awful time-- already a head taller than everyone else and wearing Keds everywhere. They were the only shoes I wore. Little did I know I was very fashion-forward-- well, who am I kidding really I was just a dork.

A dork who knew all the words to Shoop.

it was merry, thanks.

But there were some setbacks in the merriment.

Namely: the guy getting hit by a car right outside Joe's apartment building, the fire at my sisters' condo, the car accident of P-har and HotCop.

I must say at this moment: everyone I know directly is safe. Whew. I haven't found any info about the stranger. Has anyone seen it on the local news?

Thank goodness for Paul. I think Cristina would've gone crazy without him. Almost as crazy as the evicted neighbor who torched (electrified?) his former residence, the condo across the hall from their place.

P-har and HotCop are both uninjured. She sounded like me, though, when she described her back pain and said "But I'm not sure if that's from the accident, or because I wore heels all day." 17 y-o girl turning left didn't yield on the solid green light.

This is not the first time I've been witness to things coming threefold.

Enough of that.

Some highlights:

• TiVo!! Or as I like to say it "TEEEE-Vo!!"
  
• I will be cooking up a storm with my new kitchen utensils, roasting pan and Cuisinart. And an oven thermometer so I never again burn the banana bread! HotCop and Joe are looking forward to being the guinea pigs.
  
• Cardamom coffee-- tastes like if you "licked the Middle East!"
  
• Best.Gravy.Ever. I refrained from picking up my plate and licking it, though.
  
• I love singing Silent Night by candlelight at church on Christmas Eve. But we missed my sister.
  
• Beatrice got three presents-- none of them from me, even though I told her I was getting her something.
  
• Best friends, hands down. These are the girls who know me best. Joe passed the friend test (even though he lies to girls).
  
• Blonde mannequin dressed up in someone's front yard. Wow. Classy.
  
• The new "Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays!" text message phenomenon. I got five this year, I believe.
  

Photos to come.

huh.

I got this from Broadsheet, who got it from Boing Boing

It seems that Joe Francis, the 32-year-old creator of "Girls Gone Wild" and former Paris Hilton squire, had a rough day in court this week. Francis, who made a mint peddling softcore porn videos of regular gals persuaded into baring their breasts, went to court claiming that last year he was the victim of robbery, kidnapping and extortion at his Bel Air, Calif., home. But, according to the Times, Ronald Richards, the defense counsel, turned the tables on Francis, asking "about a theft arrest in North Carolina, and a case pending in Florida alleging that he filmed minors for one of his videotapes and was charged with racketeering, prostitution, obscenity, child pornography and possession of an illegal drug."

Francis pleaded the Fifth.

So, Francis is a sleaze -- no big surprise? Wait -- the real money shot comes when we learn the exact nature of Francis' charges. In court testimony, Francis identifies his attacker as 28-year-old Darnell Riley, and alleges that the man "stole cash and possessions and then forced him to make a humiliating, half-naked video ...[and] threatened to distribute the video unless Francis paid him $300,000 to $500,000." (Emphasis ours.)

Read the original LA Times Article: 'Girls Gone Wild' Creator Probed About Criminal Record.

panda egg

I keep thinking I've posted the last cute picture. But he just keeps getting cuter!! Someone cut me off.

my mom got me drunk.

Well, not quite but I did get really drunk at her house. By accident.

Thank goodness Joe was there to drive me home. I don't know how it happened. I stood up and suddenly I was wasted. Just blasted. I blame the wine.

Some bits:

HotCop: "I'm mad you didn't bring any food home."
Me: "I was too drunk to pack up food!"

Which was true, I had to get out the door before any of my parents' friends (and church members) realized I could barely walk across the room.

Mom: "I didn't keep an eye on her! I thought people her age could monitor themselves!"

She said this to HotCop at church on Sunday, because I was far too hungover to make it out of bed. Too hungover, even, to walk upstairs and ask my roommate if she would teach Sunday School for me. I called her cell phone from the house phone.

HotCop gave me a breathalyzer. I blew a 0.178, more than twice the legal limit here in the Commonwealth. Whew. HotCop loooves to give her drunk friends breathalyzers, it's like a game for her. She and her friend Wiz (who pulled me over once, but that is another story) experimented to see how alcohol affects men and women differently. Drink a beer, take the test. I want her to marry Wiz, but it's too late, he's already married. :-(

I told my mom about the breathalyzer. She speculated that maybe next year they should just have one on hand to test people as they leave.

Mom: "There was a lot of alcohol consumed. I kept making trips to the recycling bin and thinking 'What must the recycling people think?'"

Anyway, I started feeling reasonably well enough to go pick up my car about 7:30 last night. Made it over to Mom & Dad's house fine. Then I yakked up all the rice HotCop had made me. I broke down on the way home and got my cure. McDonald's #2, no onions with a Coke.

Except it's no longer #2. I had to ask the drive-thru lady if they still have the 2-cheeseburger meal. They did, whew. Cured. Well, mostly.

Tonight, I'm due to have drinks with Sara (of the literal broken neck). I think I'll have water.

best.chrismukkah.ever.

Well, not quite but it was pretty good.

It seemed they weren't going to take themselves too seriously with comments on the typical TV-show timing. For instance, Kirsten appearing in the kitchen just as Ryan was rejecting the Chrismukkah Bar Mitsmukkah (sp?). And then... That's What Friends are For. Gak.

In other news: Julie Cooper and Summer's dad? Another ill-fated marriage? Something just -has- to happen to Seth. PLOT PLEASE.

I really thought girly-boy was going to kill himself. I wish.

The picture is in honor of the upcoming holiday. Hint, hint.

a two-beer...

you know the ending.

Also known as a "cheap date," and "light-weight," a "girl who thinks it's 11 pm when it's really 9:30 (despite the fabulous company."

Since I apparently don't know what's interesting to do anymore (it's not interesting to watch a movie with friends on Friday nights anymore), and I'm not the drinker I once was (two beers and I'm ready for bed, any sort of liquor and I'm down for the count), I think I need a hobby. You know, one of those productive hobbies. When you have an end product. Something to point to and say "That is what I did on Friday/Saturday night." You know the type

Knitting
Pottery
Basket Weaving

something like that. Something I can sell. Give to friends. Put on my walls.

Any suggestions?

i promise this isn't me...

that's right.

...and you remember that, too.

some tips.

As a former waitress, I've thought alot about gratuities-- and it's always in the back of my mind. This article from the Washington Post yesterday brought it back to the front of my mind.

I think I'm a reasonable tipper. 20% across the board for decent service, and never less than $2. I tip my hairdresser more like 30% (because I know she tips out, and she really takes care of me). But I don't tip the shampoo girl (because I know the hairdressers tip out). And I've NEVER given a holiday tip, so now I feel like a stiff.

In any case, here are my notes on tipping:

• Generally 20%. Only for really bad, and I mean REALLY BAD service do I leave less. (Too much time as a waitress.)
  
• Always before tax.
  
• Always round up to the 1/2 dollar amount. None of that .01 bullshit to round out your tab. Give me a break.
  
• If your server hooks you up, you hook him/her up. Think Allison at WonderBar or Jesse at the County Grill. I'm talking free drinks, discount, gives you the happy hour price. Whatever. S/he's out on a limb for you. Do the same. Hello: $2.13/hour in the Commonwealth of VA.
  
• I'm not one for math, but even I can figure out percentages in my head. Move the decimal point. Multiply. BUT-- it won't hurt if you leave an extra 50¢ or even $1. I promise. Plus it could make the difference between a good and bad shift for your server.
  
• In a big party, check your bill for included gratuity. If service was great, leave a couple extra for the hard work. Don't bitch about grat. Big parties are hard to work.
  
• None of this applies in Canada or Europe where practices are completely different.
  
• When in doubt, ask the manager about standard tipping practices. They are more likely to be completely honest with you.
  

Yes, you are the customer. But you are also receiving a service. Please keep that in mind.

birthday girl.

Today is My Lovely Tiffany's birthday. Happy Birthday!
I vow to take a better picture of you soon.

the public deserves to see this...

cat nappin'

Here is Tai Shan, tired from his public debut.

more panda...

cold & rainy.

This is the perfect weather to stay home with a good book, mug of soup and down comforter.

Unfortunately, I had to go to work this morning.

Repeat: paycheck good, unemployment bad...

just filler.

Seemed like last night's episode was just filler.

I can't make myself care about that Johnny boy. His earnest eyes and adolescent-girl body just irritate the shit out of me. I was hoping he'd die last night. Alas...

Who else loves the Taylor Witch music they play every time she comes on screen? She better not turn good and lose all my interest. Think she really gave up all interest in Seth? I mean, how can she resist?

I want something to happen... and not just these kids deciding to go to college together. Where were any of the reasons we watch??

"Gus, I told your wife I don't swing!"

Yes, people actually have beliefs like this.

Real people-- sometimes I have to remind myself of that. Not just those men in Washington.

Sometimes I want to throw up because of how narrow-minded my roommate is.

Physically. Yak. Right there in the kitchen.

Because she thinks children of illegal immigrants (who have known nothing but the United States as their home) shouldn't have in-state tuition at college. Maybe it'll discourage other people from coming over illegally, she said. Riiiight. Just like abstinence-only programs prevent teenagers from having sex.

Because she thinks women shouldn't have the right to choose whether or not to have an abortion (except in the cases of health of course). Even adult women. Even in cases of rape. Because you shouldn't have sex unless you're ready for the consequences. There are millions of families who want to adopt. For every family who wants to adopt, I bet there are many needy children (atleast).

I think about people with beliefs like this-- the absolutely, positively polar opposite of mine-- all the time. Sometimes I forget they live in the same house as me.

GE Time.

Had a little Grandma-Erika time last night.

On Fashion:
Grandma: I'm going to get a new black suit.
Me: Black goes with everything.
Grandma: Yes, and you can spark it up with a bright top.

(It's genetic!)

On Rudolph:
Me: It's the Rudolph movie!
Grandma: That little guy is cute!

On Veronica Mars:
Grandma: Never heard of it.