drunk post

It's been a long time.

Yes, it's 6:45 pm on Sunday.

Here I am at HotCop's computer, facing the front of the house, smelling my neighbor's cigarette smoke as it comes through the open sliding glass door, and wondering why my roommate got engaged.

I *just* got used to her dishes in the sink (that's a lie, they drive me crazy).
She *just* got used to my shoes in the fron hall (also a lie, she hates them).

We've been roommates for 3.5 years. Beatrice has not know life without Mean ol' Sandy. I can't remember what it was like before there was a police cruiser parked in front of my house. What was it like to plan Sunday School from across town (the place I'm moving to and the place she's moving to are in the same zip code).

Today I told the pizza guy the it was her fault we were moving out. SHE GOT ENGAGED, I said. In that voice because we were a bottle of wine in. Now we're 1 bottle of wine, 1 bottle of Arbor Mist (WTF? 7-11!!), the rest of her 3 yr old rum, and some OTHER rum in. High school in a glass and all that. Only Diet. I've given up Coca-cola, my old friend.

This makes no sense. I am not going to re-read it. I'm not going to. Insteand, I'll post a picture taken in front of me, and behind me. My ass did not get out of this uncomfortable chriar.

advantages.

While I do miss working downtown, there are certain advantages to the "new" job's location.

Well, advantage, anyway. It's proximity to Marshalls. Where is good to get home decor stuff? Marshalls! Designer purses, with dusters? Marshalls!! Kitchen utensils? Marshalls! VD-themed placemats for only $7.99? Marshalls!!

The Marshall's trip during Friday's lunch was only the beginning of the Ultimate Shopping Weekend. Saturday took my mom, Cristina and me to Dillard's, Bed Bath and Beyond, Target, Ann Taylor Loft, Coldwater Creek, J.Jill, the gelato store and BJ's. And Cristina went to Lowe's. One of my favorite purchases was my $25 slicover from B,B&B, which can be seen here and here. Please note the pillow in the second picture. When I did this while experimenting with the cover this weekend Cristina told me "It just looks like you put a couch pillow on it." Huh. Keeping in mind that the camera flash is a much harder light than we have in the living room, which is better, with or without the pillow?

i can't even explain to you how mad i am.

I got home today, no new carpet padding. Despite the fact that we had been promised it.

No message from the property manager, telling me why my house is still a shithole.

I'm pissed. Mostly because this is my Night In. The one night for the rest of the week I have to watch TiVo, hang out with my cat and generally sloth it up.

Seriously. This kind of lack of follow up is what we -thought- we moved away from.

And what gets me is that I KNEW this was going to happen. I KNEW something was going to go wrong once we got all settled in. That's why it took so long.

I'm done. I'm so freaking done.

now there's a smell.

We survived! P-har, HotCop and I made it to bed about 5:00 Friday morning. I felt bad for our neighbors who had to listen to Miguel use his vaccuum thing to suck up the water in our place for an hour or so. That should cost the landlord about $1100 but that's what they get for hiring Surly & Unhelpful Maintenance Man, the one who did nothing but pull up our carpet at the bottom of the stairs despite three or so previous phone calls. Who am I kidding? I would be surly & unhelpful if I got called in to work at 3 am or on a Sunday afternoon.

Anyway, Beatrice, Mean Ol' Sandy, HotCop and I are all fine although the cats are like "Guys? Guys, seriously, can we just get this weird, loud machine out of the downstairs? Because, ya know, since all the furniture is pushed over to the side of both the living room and the dining room we'd really like to tear around and chase each other." Alas, they cannot tear around and chase each other with the carpet flapping like crazy as the industrial strength blower dries it out. The RIDGID AIR MOVER 3 SPEED 1600 CFM only comes in putrid orange apparennly which really does nothing for my decor. (The picture does not do the ugliness of ours justice). However, I love the RIDGID AIR MOVER 3 SPEED 1600 CFM. Let's face it, I also love Miguel.

• New carpet downstairs (this from the mouth of the property manager) because though the carpet looks fluffy and like it just had two nice baths, there is, in fact, a smell. Smell= mold or mildew or other grossness.
• A new vaccuum cleaner. Because no amount of water is good for a regular old vac.
• A new paint job in the front hall. Because Surly & Unhelpful Maintenance man seems to have exploded his wet vac there (you like how I made that his fault?).

After all of that I would just like the opportunity to live someplace without a broken toilet, crack in the bathtub, leak in the wall, squishy place on the carpet, or ANY OTHER REASON TO MOVE MY FURNITURE AGAIN. At least until the lease is up.

it's 3:35 am.

...and here P-har (Mr Hotcop) and I sit, waiting for Miguel. Or the plumber. Either one would be fine, we just need someone to come clean up the water that's all over the kitchen, dining room, front hall and laundry room.

Our hot water heater exploded.

i can feel it, we're going to have to move out.

HotCop and I are going to have to move out of the new place, I can just feel it.

When I came home early one Sunday morning a few weeks ago I found several wet places on the carpet downstairs plus there was one in HotCop's ceiling. I -knew- we were going to have to move out. I just knew it.

But we didn't have to move out then-- turns out the loudass-neighbors-to-the-right's kitchen sink drain was rotted out. No big deal, they were about to be deployed anyway and it would be replaced while they were gone.

Even after the new drain PLUS a new dishwasher next door, the wet spot at the bottom of the stairs wouldn't go away. Still hasn't gone away. Just getting wetter. And the townhomes aren't on a crawl space-- they're on a concrete slab. The water is just bubbling up from someplace (and also leaking into the HC's ceiling when it rains). HotCop's dad says it's probably a water main and replacing it is a "messy, dusty job." If he were us, he said, he'd "call every other day and hound them til it was fixed." I know that's what I should do, I whined, but "that's why we moved out of First Street." So we didn't have to do shit like that anymore. Gah.

If we have to move out [which seems more and more likely each time I walk up or down the stairs and feel *squish* on my bare toes] I'm so getting our fucking non-refundable pet deposit back. Pluse 100% security deposit. Seriously. I should just move to the Southside.

4/20

Today is April 20.

Or 420. Also 420.

I'm sure my soon-to-be-former landlord and his (common-law?) wife Dime-Bag will be celebrating this evening with their friend Mary Jane.

Spark it, Motherfuckers.

a place of our own.

HotCop and I put a deposit down on a place this morning. It has a fireplace!!

UP NEXT: Washer/Dryer purchase!

on my way out the door this morning

HotCop: Have a good day!
Me: You too.... Call me later!
HotCop: OK... I'LL LET YOU KNOW HOW THE APARTMENT HUNTING GOES!
Me: SOUNDS GOOD. [pause] MAKE SURE YOU TELL THEM WE'RE QUIET!!
HotCop: WHAT??
Me: MAKE--SURE--YOU--TELL--THEM--WE'RE--QUI--ET!!
HotCop: OK!!

I hope someone lets us live somewhere :-(.

vacating the premises.

So, HotCop and I have to be out of our house in 30 days.

When my landlord told me this (for the record, we are NOT being evicted, our month-to-month lease is being terminated) my first thought was Are you kidding? You're the shithead!! Well, that's a lie because he was talking around the subject so much my first thought was Heh? and I had to say Um, so, are we being asked to vacate the premises?

We've BEEN wanting to move, but I'm just too lazy to clean out the attic. And my closet.

But, when he received a letter from Codes & Compliance saying he was in violation of um, several codes and compliances, and when I called Saturday evening with a LEAK INTO MY CLOSET WHICH CAUSED A LOT OF GROSS MILDEW AND YUCKINESS, I guess those was the last straw.

He's BEEN wanting us to move, but the ganja he and his [common-law? not sure] wife-- smoke daily really makes it so he doesn't have any get-up-and-go. We call her Dime Bag, a nickname which is appropriate because her first name is a monetary amount as well.

Also, we ask for too much. LIKE: the broken toilet in the 1/2 bath to be fixed, the leaky gutter right over our kitchen door to be repaired, A KEY TO THE FRONT DOOR, the broken window in HotCop's room (from Hurricane Isabel!!!!! in 2003!!!) to be fixed. That's just the beginning. We're not going to talk about the new kitchen linoleum we were promised when HotCop moved in three years ago, the side yard in which we park, I could go on and on.

But I won't. Time to move on.

to rent or not to rent.

it's great to be a renter because i don't have to pay for the brand new 2 ton air conditioning unit they are installing in my house tomorrow. meanwhile, though, most the house is a little cooler than boiling. i just saw on the news there is a heat advisory today.

my bedroom is like a refrigerator right now cause we have the temporary window unit cranked down to 65. too bad that's not where my computer (read: job searching tool) is.

i didn't have to pay for the new blower fan they put in when the heat broke this winter, either. it was cold that night so beatrice and i carried our asses over to my parents' house to spend the night. or rather, i carried both of them cause she doesn't really like to leave the house. my bedroom was like a fridge then, too.

thank goodness for hi-tech fans, cool compresses and krispy kremes.