good for what ails me.

time at the beach. it's good for the soul, i think.

the beach is therapy. we went straight to the outer banks from my grandmother's funeral the summer of 2002. my mom said floating in the ocean soothed her because, despite the fact my grandma had been waiting for death for 3 years before, she was still my mother's mother. we drank the wine the flight attendant had given me for my loss.

my dad and i flew out to mom's hometown together, since my sisters would fly from dc and my mother was already there. i got up mid-flight to use the facilities and got chatted up by the flight attendant. so,where are you from? virginia what takes you to colorado? actually, a funeral. oh, i'm sorry for your loss. are you 21? uh, no. i was going to offer you a bottle of wine with our sympathies. are you traveling with anyone? so he came over later and presented my dad with a bottle of wine. my dad gave me a funny look. i just shrugged.

the real irony of it all is my mom's side of the family are right-wing, ultra-conservative Christians who don't drink. grandma was the president of the colorado chapter of the WCTU (women's christian temperance union). we had to discuss which members of the family would find the story funny (cousins c & g), and which members (aunt v) we would most certainly not tell lest their judgment ensure we spend all eternity damned to hell. the more my dad and i told the story, the more it was about grandma sending us a message hey guys! turns out it's ok! and the flight attendant thinking i was cute (dad's spin).

anyway. this is supposed to be about the beach.

today is memorial day, the official start of summer. summer has always been the best time of my life. too much time in the southeast has thinned my scandinavian blood and made me a hot weather person. give me 90 degrees (what is the html for the little degree bubble?) over 20 degrees any day.

form & content

what i dream of is an art of balance.
-henri matisse.

in my 4 years studying art history, i spent a lot of time thinking about form versus content. what the work is - what it means.

for example:

form: a figure wearing a yellow shirt.
content: judas iscariot wearing a yellow shirt to symbolize his cowardice.

so, what's more important? how a piece looks? or what it means? pop art or minimalism? (this is going somewhere. i promise.)

i dated a guy last spring. well, dated may be too strong a word, but we went out a couple of times. nice guy. hotcop and i called him "practice boy." it was a blind date fix-up by one of my then co-workers (random thought #1: i only agreed to it because i had a thing for the co-worker, who was engaged). the first time we hung out , we met my co-worker and his fiancee for a drink (random though #2: it was at the place i later met the celery stick. thank goodness that place closed). he was nice. we had pretty good conversation. (random thought #3: unless one participant is completely devoid of personality, or debilitatingly shy, it's really not that hard to have decent conversation). he asked if he could call. i agreed. i gave him a hug at the end of the evening. (random thought #4: it turned out he grew up across the street from hc, and i had met him a few times while we were growing up.)

he called while i was at work (random thought #5: i had funny hours at the time). i didn't call him back. he called again. this story could go on and on... but the real fact is: i just wasn't attracted to him.

the content was there, just not the form.

i went out with him a couple more times, i thought the attraction would grow. maybe he would make me laugh, or cry or angry or happy and all that attraction stuff would come later. (random fact #6: both hc and italian villa sister told me this wouldn't work.)

so, can content be enough? if the form just isn't what you want, can what the yellow shirt, or the witty remark, represent make up for it? hc and my sis say no, but i still wonder. in the long run, the paint is going to fade.

there is something to be said, though, for feeling attractive. or at least, feeling like your partner finds you attractive. there's just no hiding that.

i don't know.

erika 4000

today is the birthday of my male fashion icon, andre 3000 of outkast. happy 31st, andre.

shake it like a polaroid picture...

bud light presents: real men of genius

i know, really, it should be "real people of genius."

but, c'mon. that stuff is fun-ny.

bud light salutes you, mr. fancy coffee shop coffee pourer. what do you do with a masters degree in art history?

hahaha!!

jason mraz

see i'm all about them words
over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
hundreds of pages pages pages for words
more words than i have ever heard, and i feel so alive...

scent + memory

i think it really is true: scent is the strongest sense tied to memory. or maybe i just have a freakish memory for smells.

reason #1 why i don't date boys named mike anymore wore polo sport. so did a kid i went on a long road trip with not long after i met mike#1.

the smell of cloves reminds me of lauren, a girl i was friends with freshman year of college. we smoked them for my birthday.

i smelled dolce & gabbana light blue in my vogue magazine one time last summer, and remembered to put it on my holiday wish list.

the celery stick wore lucky you. i smelled it at the restaurant where i used to work one night and looked around for him.

estee lauder pleasures reminds me of my mother. dial soap reminds me of my dad. old spice reminds me of my grandpa s.

jen wore ralph lauren romance when we were studying abroad.

pantene pro-v shampoo reminds me of summer camp.

dr. pepper reminds me of beach vacations.

my weekend consisted of

breaking my 7&7 boycott.

yard work

first daughter

the pilot episode of the oc

7 krispy kremes

napoleon dynamite

sunburned shoulders

washing & vaccuuming out my car.

buffalo wings

lots of good times with the roomie.

featuring a guest appearance by hotcop.

because somebody has to keep me in line.



Erika asked me to post the top 10 most annoying things about living with her. Is that an annoying request? I went down kicking and fighting, and had a hard time coming up with 10 things...or was it limiting it to 10 things? Well, here goes...(the order is not important)

10. She will reorganize things without telling me, including it's new, apparently better location. Thus leaving me searching for hours for a frying pan so that I can eat.

9. Erika drinks coffee in the morning. That itself is not annoying, but the sugar bowl from which she spoons out her morning dose IS! She'll leave the stupid thing right in front of the microwave door so that when i go to heat up coffee for myself, the door won't open.

8. Anyone who knows her knows about the mood swings. Nuff Said.

7. I'm not a great cook and I admit it, but I like to try. I am not allowed to help cook, but only to fetch the spices that SHE deems necessary. My ideas for the meal, NO GOOD!

6. The kitchen table becomes a catch-all for her crap as she comes in the door. I removed 2 items of mine from it the other day, but made 7 trips back and forth to her room carrying loads of items from the kitchen table.

5. I'm a heavy sleeper, so this next one is only slightly bothersome when I'm awake and trying to think, or talk on the phone, or watch t.v., or listen to the radio, etc. She's SO heavy footed. You'd think big foot was tromping around downstairs sometimes.

4. Her stress level spontaneously shoots through the roof. It's so bad sometimes, it stresses out her cat!

3. She's on an organic food kick. Yeah yeah, I know about the poor helpless cows, carrots, tofu, and other products. But, for crying out loud, my 84 year old Nana doesn't drink milk and is healthy as a horse (no pun intended).

2. I have quite the CD collection, but sometimes I just get an itching to listen to a certain CD. Really SUCKS when it's in her car....in NORFOLK!

1. Maybe I did save this for #1 for a reason... I am "not allowed" to turn on the heat unless it is -12 degrees and I have put on every layer of clothing possible AND am sufficiently bundled under a blanket with my teeth chattering and ice crystals forming on my eyebrows, BUT SHE CAN BUY EVIAN WATER!!!!

Please keep in mind that these previous 10 items are annoying, but they are also the reasons I love her! :)

loyal.

jen does a blowjob shot in my honor at our favorite pub in florence.

it's time to talk about the oc.

season finale! season finale! aack!

1. intervention. is this, like, an after school special or something? i love seth, with the quick quips. it was pretty low key, at least compared to bailey's intervention on party of five. completely appropriate it took place in the kitchen.

2. trey got what he deserved. ideally, the annoying hobag who can't go to war would have been shot, too. ick.

3. i could have used a little more summer time, though the lack of it put me back on the marissa-and-ryan train.

4. julie and jimmy. i love jimmy, i really do. what's with julie becoming a sympathetic character, though? calling herself a bitch, offering to help sandy with kirsten, getting back together with her fabulous ex-husband.

5. the "summer season" begins next week. "encore presentations" of all our favorite episodes from season 2.

over all, it was pretty good. more action, but not as much cliffhanging as last year, i think.

sethsdisciple? are you out there?

it seems i have become an adult.

here are the top five things which have made me realize i am well and truly on my way to being a real live grown up.

5. i have a 401(k). not only do i have a 401(k), i selected my own funds in which to invest!

4. my roommate from college is married. with a child.

3. my high school boyfriend is married. to one of my best friends from high school.

2. here would be an ideal place to say "all my friends are older than me." but that does not make me feel old, nor is it something new to me. so, i'll just say: i own two entire sets of dishes. (one service for 8, one service for twelve.)

1. i came home tonight to find my roommate had purchased a yard flag. i parked my car, and there it was, proudly flapping away next to my mailbox. why does this make me feel old? i have no idea. it just seems some line has been crossed. hotcop has passed the "purchase yard accessories" square on her way to becoming a millionare.

i don't get it.

on my way in this morning, i saw a bumper sticker which said

not either and but both or

what? does that mean she's bi-sexual? does that even make sense?

wait, tuesday is moe's day!

there are certain things which easily become habit. in the past couple months, the habit has been d'egg on wednesday lunch for meatloaf day! ed, tom, joe, brad (before the job with the wonky hours), occasionally juz and i would head down to norfolk's favorite diner. we'd discuss everrything from football (american) to football (soccer) to shoes (to make me feel better) to our plan b's. juz would even tell me when i was not up to fashion par. i got my meatloaf with sides of collards and fries and a big old glass of sweet tea; it was soooo good.

then, it became neccessary for key members of the group to implement plan b, and wednesday arrived almost a week later. there was no way d'egg would happen without the presence of the cheddar man and the aussie (breadhouse was also feeling under the weather). i guess i should have seen this change coming when the collards sucked last week. and we didn't get rolls. and the refills were low. but anyway.

it became necessary for hollywood and i to drown our sorrows in the flour tortilla-y goodness of moe's. let's be clear. we go to moe's a lot. ever since amateur poker began (and even since it ended) tuesday has been moe's day. yesterday was no exception.

but, desperate times and all that. now, this was not the first time there has been moe's two times in a week. usually it's a covert operation involving avoiding the pipsqueak weasel, and never saying the word "burrito" out loud (thank goodness for ichat). however, it was most certainly the first time there's been moe's two days in a row! believe me, this did not go unnoticed by our new friend ruby, the manager of moe's.

ruby often talks to us on tuesday nights. last night, in fact, she noticed we were sitting near the front, rather than at our usual back table. yes, i explained all the back tables were taken. today, she saw hollywood and me right when we walked in the door.

two days in a row?? she asked.

shhh! it's a secret! we replied.

we chatted her up a bit while waiting to pay. what are you guys up to? - just escaped the office for some lunch. the cashier rang us up (my turn to get lunch)... and out of no where- ruby starts pushing the magic manager button on the register... and gives us a burrito for free! i called it the "damn, you eat here so much you should have a burrito savings account" discount. every time she walked by hollywood and me as we ate she'd say shh! sometimes it takes so little to make my day.

and then...i found $5.

be a cheap date!

May 17, 2005  |  BOSTON (AP) -- A hearty, invasive plant introduced to this country decades ago to control soil erosion could have what it takes to curb binge drinking, new research suggests.

Kudzu, an ever-expanding vine considered a pest in much of the South, appears to contain a compound that can be effective in reducing alcohol intake among humans.

Researcher Scott Lukas did not have any trouble rounding up volunteers for his study, published in this month's issue of Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research.

--ya think??

Lukas' team at Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital set up a makeshift "apartment" in a laboratory, complete with a television, reclining chair and a refrigerator stocked with beer.

Findings show that subjects who took kudzu drank an average of 1.8 beers per session, compared with the 3.5 beers consumed by those who took a placebo.

Lukas was not certain why but speculated that kudzu increases blood alcohol levels and speeds up its effects. More simply put, the subjects needed fewer beers to feel drunk.

"That rapid infusion of alcohol is satisfying them and taking away their desire for more drinks," Lukas said. "That's only a theory. It's the best we've got so far."

In 2003, David Overstreet and other scientists found the herb to be effective in reducing alcohol intake on rats.

"There's a lot of anecdotal evidence from China that kudzu could be useful, but this is the first documented evidence that it could reduce drinking in humans," said Overstreet, who described Lukas' work "groundbreaking."

Lukas recruited 14 men and women in their 20s to spend four 90-minute sessions consuming beer and watching TV. Researchers selected people who said they regularly consumed three to four drinks per day.

After the first session, some subjects received capsules of kudzu, others a placebo.

"Unbeknownst to them, I was weighing that mug of beer every time they took a sip," Lukas said. "We actually got a sip-by-sip analysis of their drinking behavior."

--they probably didn't know because they were too drunk.

None of the subjects had any side effects from mixing kudzu with beer.

"It's perfectly safe, from what we can tell," Lukas said. "Individuals reported feeling a little more tipsy or lightheaded, but not enough to make them walk into walls or stumble and fall."

Though kudzu won't turn drinkers into teetotalers, Lukas said, he hopes it can help heavy drinkers to cut back.

--just in case you were worried.

"That way, they're a lot closer to being able to cut down completely," he said.

--blah blah blah...

Lukas' study was inspired by Dr. Wing Ming Keung, a pathology professor at Harvard Medical School who has studied kudzu's potential medical applications.

Keung, not directly involved in Lukas' study, said he has extracted a compound from kudzu root that he hopes to turn into a drug for reducing alcoholics' cravings.

"The most urgent need is helping people who cannot help themselves, who need a drug to help them stop drinking," Keung said.

save money, save calories, save yourself a headache the next morning!

glade syttende mai!

today is the seventeenth of may, norwegian constitution day.

both sets of my father's grandparents are fresh-off-the-boat norwegian. (and my mother is part swedish-- which explains my inner conflict as well as my fair skin.)

people find my very norwegian last name (sounds like "dense fog" or even "spongebob") fascinating. family lore has tells the story of it like this: my dad's paternal grandparents came through ellis island (en route to iowa, talk about corn-fed). at that time, it was traditional for european emigrants to form a surname by adding "son" to the end of their father's first name. our last name would have been "jonson," or the more americanized "johnson."

however, this is my family. (have you met me?) i am erika with a 'k,' my sisters are cristina, no 'h' and anna, pronounced on-ah. great-grandpa didn't want to be just another "johnson." he took the name of the area from which he originated, and formed our last name. it means "stoned bay."

yeah, no one can pronounce my name the first time they see it. it's a pain to order pizza (i use my roommate's name or my first name). i did get teased for it in elementary school (the most unoriginal: stensvagina). but it's my name, part of who i've been since birth and part of my family's past.

if you want to talk about this further, give me a call. my number is 1-900-viking-b*tch.

farm boy, fetch me that pitcher.

last night i watched some of the princess bride with my roommate, just until is this a kissing book?

i love reciting every third line in that movie or trying to limit myself because someone else is in the room. life is pain, highness. this is movie comfort food. mom's pot roast. warm soup on a rainy day. it doesn't take much of it to soothe you.

for me, other movie comfort food includes: good will hunting, sleepless in seattle, and -ahem- cinderella.

two boca burgers and a walk on the beach.

the soles of my feet are sore from a long walk on the sand today. there were lots of kids playing around and building sandcastles. all the dredging this winter was worth it; there is twice as much beach as last year. the water was freezing so we didn't put more than a toe in.

have you ever been silent with someone so long you forgot you weren't talking? not trying to think of something to say, not feeling uncomfortable, not wondering what the other person is thinking but just being quiet and getting lost in your own world. that, i think, is the sign of a true friendship. when just being around them makes you feel a little better about the world, when they can tell you to face the music, when you can give them a look and say a thousand things. stop knowing me so well!

here's to boca burgers, potato rolls and goat cheese. these are the keys to true intimacy.

this is why i listen to npr.

i love national public radio for a number of reasons. i'm addicted to morning edition because it gives me the news when i want it (in the, well, morning) and how i want it (leaning slightly left) and because of carl kassell (spit and all). out of the box is full of new music and paul shugrue's buttery voice.

the real reason i love npr, however, is the fact i often learn the randomest stuff. for instance, i learned on wait, wait don't tell me that size does matter. (some think size can be measured in five levels ranging from 'oh.' to 'get that away from me.' but i digress.)

female fish, it seems, prefer to mate with well-endowed male fish. don't try to take him home to mom, though, because the "third fin" has a profound effect on the ability of the male fish to escape larger [mercury-laden] predatory fish. huh. what did you learn on your way to the grocery store?

it's time to talk about the oc.

because today is friday, after all.

some thoughts:

1. george lucas. shameless promotion of SW:RotS or shrewd PR move? you decide.

2. how convenient! ryan's ex-girlfriend! right outside the bar where trey was! additionally, who's the baby daddy? hmm... set up for next season much??

3. OF COURSE CALEB DIED!! of course he did! kirsten needed a real reason to alcoholize.

4. seth and summer. that bears repeating. sethandsummer.

5. ryan and marissa. that bears... nah. as annoying as that lindsey girl was, i'm now a member of the anti-ryan and marissa club.

next week: season finale! guns! booze! now this is the stuff of real [teenage soap-opera] drama!!

i don't know what to say.

i looked for a motivational quote to post today, but nothing seemed to fit. can the life changing experiences of people i care about be summed up in an out-of-context line from abraham lincoln/ emily dickinson/ random person? not likely.

so instead i will take a page from the book of joe and just maintain.

oh, and i'll probably drink lots of 7&7 this weekend, too.

i've traumatized my sister.

waiting for me in my inbox this morning:

i had this dream last night that i had a full out temper tantrum (kicking,
screaming, crying, hitting things) b/c Erika ate my cauliflower. I was
yelling that she could have just asked me whether it was mine. and the
thing was that she was eating it right in front of me as I was having
this tantrum. I haven't had one of those dreams since i lived in DC. I
must be under stress.

this is not the italian villa sister. i.v. sis used to call cauliflower "snow broccoli" to get me to eat it.

i wonder what i took from broccoli sister. :-( i also wonder if there was cheese sauce on it.

why did ice cube even try?

xXx 2: The State of the Union got horrible reviews and didn't do too well at the box office either.

proof, once again, that you just can't replace vin diesel.

pass the queso

"one cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."

--virginia woolf

suffering for fashion

sometimes, it's completely worth it to wear the pair of shoes which is slightly too small... or the shirt which is just a little too tight, because of how good you look.

i have a huge blister on the back of my right heel, not from my so-called pointy shoes, but from my lovely saucony running shoes. it really hurts. i tried on about 3 pairs of backless shoes this morning in an attempt to give this little bitch time to heal (ha ha). none of them looked right. so, i decided to suck it up. it'll so be worth it, i thought,i'll just layer up on the band-aids.

oh, i was so wrong. i don't think i have ever been more wrong in my entire life. not worth it. not even a little.

if you see me today, tell me my shoes look fabulous. :-(

whatever you do, don't ask me to subtract.

i think i know my talents fairly well. i write clearly and sometimes concisely. i am a passable cook and a pretty good friend. oh, and i'm a fabulous shopper.

but i'm lousy at several things, too.

1. heavy lifting. i've never had any sort of upper body strength to speak of. as much as i may think i can lift as much as the next guy, i'm the kind of person you ask to supervise your move, not lift the couch.

2. if you want a good golf partner, don't ask me. i've never had any sort of patience for lining up golf shots. i even suck at mini-golf! granted, there will be the random holes-in-one but that's just blind luck.

3. taking a compliment. i'm the girl who says "no way. this shirt totally doesn't match my belt!" instead of "thank you."

4. swimming. i am a terrible swimmer. i live at the beach, go figure.

and, whatever you do, do NOT ask me to subtract. i'm the world's worst subtractor. i can figure out a percentage fine-- a trait which comes from my stints in the service industry, i believe. adding is great. but please do NOT tell me the year you were born and expect me to figure out your age. i may add a few years.

qui a firenze, senza io

i spent the first semester of my junior year studying abroad [insert joke here] in florence, italy. as an art history major, this was my opportunity to see all the works i had been studying since i was in high school. plus, i could eat great food and drink lots of chianti. that bears repeating. pasta. wine. cheese. bread. wine. coffee. pastry. wine. i. love. food. anyway...

i knew i would meet some fun people. well, i hoped i would meet some fun people. it looked doubtful the first couple days i was there for orientation-- but then i met my roommate. jen and i hit it off from minute one. we spent the entire semester practically inseperable. whether it was the classes we had together or at our favorite bar, the scottish pub (who would have guessed it, a scottish pub in italy). whenever we would be apart for more than a couple hours, one of us would call the other on her telefonino (literally, small telephone) with this question dove sei, bella?. if the answer wasn't a biblioteca or a scuola or even nel bar it was bound to be sono qui a firenze. oh, i'm here in florence.

naturally, when our semester was over, we vowed to keep in touch and visit often and return to italy together soon. i know what you're thinking: that we haven't spoken since. ha! you're wrong! we continue to email and call regularly. i've visited jen in seattle twice, and she's been to the east coast, too. we've talked about our future trip to italy so many times, it's a little sick. we would go find lenny, our favorite bartender! we'd hike along cinque terre! we'd visit our host parents! we'd take a tour of chianti! we'd lie on the white sandy beachs of capri! we were going to do all the things we'd missed.

when jen got the opportunity to go without me this spring, i told her i hated her. i also told her, however, she needed to send me a postcard from every place we'd been together, and bring me back a fabulous leather purse. i got an email from her the other day... i can't believe i'm here without you. the bancomat we used to go to by the duomo is closed! i cried when i got off the train.

qui a firenze, senza io.

today is mother's day.

i would be spending it with my mother, but she has other plans.

at church today someone came up to me to say good morning and also made a point to say erika, i know one day soon i'll be able to tell YOU happy mother's day, too.

oh my.

saturday nights

tonight i had dinner with my parents. as we sat around the table eating homemade macaroni and cheese, (made with low-carb pasta and 2% cheese, of course) we listened to a prairie home companion.

well, my mother said, the dish is right, but a few things have changed.

as i was growing up, we spent every saturday night the same way. my mother, tired from going to graduate school, student teaching and raising three daughters all week, would make kraft macaroni and cheese. you know, the kind with the blue box and powdered cheese. she served it right out of the pot with a wooden spoon. saturday nights we had to be sure to have a bath as well to be ready for church in the morning. i have many memories of listening to garrison keillor while having my hair combed. i wrote about it in one of my college writing classes. the pink comb, having my hair carefully parted and and quality time listening to the soothing midwestern accent.

it was different tonight. we sat in the dining room, not the kitchen. two key members of my family were noticeably absent. and i had to go home to my very own house like a grown-up, i couldn't just wander sleepily up the stairs and fall into bed.

it's time to talk about the oc.

thank goodness for suspension of disbelief. some observations, chock full of spoiler goodness.

1. t.i.?? on the oc?? but... rooney! deathcab for cutie! i guess he was on work release. this is why i love this show!

2. i've said from the beginning that trey makes me uncomfortable. i wanted to like him, it just wasn't working out for me. the boy is all kinds of screwed up. ick.

3. i'm done with zach. he is a flat character who served his purpose: making seth jealous. stop trying to give him depth!

4. kirsten can look really bad when she wants to. last night's episode 2 made her look old enough to have a son in high school, for the first time in 2 years. booze'll do that to ya.

5. whatever happened to marissa's little sister?

today is my last day on the 3rd floor.

i'm moving to a new job (#3 in less than a year) here at big d... one floor down from where i started.

here are 5 things i'm going to miss about the 3rd floor, in no particular order:

1. being one of 2 girls.
2. joe's list.
3. the water dispenser in the fridge.
4. the consistent compliments.
5. joe, mike, tom, marcus, chuck, etc...

here are 5 things i'm not going to miss about the 3rd floor, in no particular order:

1. being one of 2 girls.
2. stinky boys.
3. pipsqueak weasel.
4. WoW talk.
5. the air conditioning/heat wars.

i have a girl-crush.

... on joss stone.

the girl can sing.
she's got that certain foreign mystique.
and, let's face it, she's hot.

however, she cannot go to war.

i may throw up.

Casino Buys Spears' Alleged Pregnancy Test

By DERRIK J. LANG
The Associated Press
Thursday, May 5, 2005; 2:07 PM


NEW YORK -- Online casino Golden Palace has spilled $5,001 for Britney Spears' alleged home pregnancy test. "It's hard to put a price on Britney Spears' urine," Golden Palace spokesman Drew Black told The Associated Press Wednesday.

Golden Palace says it purchased the test from Ottawa radio station Hot 89.9, which insists the test was retrieved from the trash outside Spears' Los Angeles hotel room months ago. The station didn't leak news of the test until Spears and husband Kevin Federline revealed her pregnancy to the public last month.

"We don't know for certain, of course," said Black. "Obviously, it's her alleged pregnancy test. I wasn't there when she took the test."

Golden Palace saw some buzz potential in the baby-making analyzer.

"When we saw this particular item was up for grabs, we knew it was something we wanted to have to add to the collection of oddities we've amassed over the past several months," said Black.

Other off-the-wall items owned by Golden Palace include a sandwich resembling the Virgin Mary, a Doritos chip that looks like the Pope's hat and a haunted cane.

Black said Golden Palace is looking into going on tour with the out-of-the-ordinary objects.

Last month, the online casino paid $15,100 to a Connecticut woman to name her newborn GoldenPalace.com.

IT IS STILL PEE!!

In case you need to kill some time...

check this out.

thanks, sis. :-)

height, hair, and teeth

when i look at a person (guys in particular, but also girls), i notice things in a particular order.

most would agree i'm a tall girl-- one of the first times i can remember being self-concious about my height was in tap class in 5th grade or so. as we looked in the mirror, i could see i was a head taller than all the other girls in my class. i shuffle-ball-changed my way out of that class long before the year was over. i think my height has alot to do with the fact i like to be skinny... but that's a whole other subject. i notice a persons' height first, usually "taller than me," "shorter than me," or "about the same height."

generally the next thing i notice is hair. i love hair. i get my haircut on a regular basis (even when it was long). i have something like six to eight kinds of shampoo in my shower. the way a person does, or does not, take care of their hair says alot about them. high-maintenance? get up and go? non-nonsense? etc.

my obsession with teeth came from 3 1/2 years of wearing braces. i PAID for my teeth with years of spaghettii-o's, jello, and retainers. i'm going to take care of them. the cleanliness of one's teeth says alot about overall hygeine, i think.

none of these are deal breakers, of course. show me a short, bad-haired, halitosis-having man who can make me laugh, and i'll show you my future husband.

i am not ashamed.

i have been known to have cheesy taste in music. i am crazy about dolly parton. "it takes alot of money to look this cheap."

this morning, i heard a neil diamond song on bob fm (they really do play anything.) sweet caroline! it made me want to dig up my roommate's live neil diamond album so i could sing along to mandy on my way to work.

oh mandy... well you came and you gave without taking...

sigh.

speaks without thinking

"...the pen is mightier than the sword."
-Edward George Bulwer Zytton

my senior year of college, my 4 roommates and i had a big piece of posterboard in the kitchen. on it we wrote just some of the many funny things (out of context of course) we said throughout the school year. i can only remember a few of them including "i'd rather be myself than not be myself" (lyndsey), "my sister is a hot ball" (kara) and "my body is a wonderland" (sarah m.). the most accurate quote of all was "my indian name would be speaks without thinking" (me).

the first time i even said "speaks without thinking" i remember everyone around me looking at me like a light bulb just turned on in their heads. i've always known i talk alot, but this was a moment of clarity for me.

sometimes i could feel the words bubble up inside me and thought i would explode if they didn't come out. in the movie mean girls, they call it word vomit. gross, but accurate-- it was gonna come up whether or not you wanted it to. these words have hurt more people in my life than i care to think about.

the filter which now exists between my brain and the outside world was built by the years of word vomit. years of telling my family and friends things i don't even really mean except in that moment, strings of words which can cut a relationship to shreds.

laura bush turned blue...

but just for a moment. apparently, she can be funny but only when she is told what to say.

condi rice at the chippendales? whose team does she play for?

thanks to shocho for directing me to this story. and here i thought mrs. bush was only on tv at the bar on saturday night because it was FOX NEWS....